Wednesday Wordage--the spirit of Bob and Ray lives...

...and is working the cash register at the Co-op.  I bought a sack of kibble for Eleanor the Akbash there.  It was a different brand than her usual, because it was on sale (a hundred pound dog that can run the hundred meters in 7 seconds can put away a fifty pound bag of kibble in no time).  So, I got home, and as I was filing the receipt in the "co-op receipts" folder, this item caught my eye:

"Prairie Dog Food 50#"

We have lots of animals, but no prairie dogs.  I finally figured that the Eleanor's food was sold as  "High Prairie Bison Blend" or some such. 

Anyway, it's ground already trod upon by the two and only Bob and Ray.  I can't find the audio, but here's the text; imagine these announcements, in the blandest possible voice, interrupting the radio show.

At this time, as a public service, we are glad to post the following bulletin from the Office of Fluctuation Control, Bureau of Edible Condiments, Soluble, Insoluble, and Indigestible Fats and Glutinous Derivatives, Washington, D.C.:

Directive 943456201: As of February 1, 2009, the price of groundhog meat will be fixed at a level higher than the price of groundhog meat on October 15, 2008, with the exception of the low-level water route outlined in the Bureau’s directive 20066 of finding the Kansas City stockyards. Note: slightly higher west of the Rockies.

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At this time, as a public service, we are glad to post the following supplementary bulletin from the Office of Fluctuation Control, Bureau of Edible Condiments, Soluble, Insoluble, and Indigestible Fats and Glutinous Derivatives, Washington, D.C.:

Correction of Directive 943456201, issued earlier today, February 1, 2009, concerning the fixed price of groundhog meat. In the Directive above-named, the price-fixed low-water-level quotation on groundhog meat should read “ground hogmeat.”

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At this time, as a public service, we are glad to post the following additional supplementary bulletin from the Office of Fluctuation Control, Bureau of Edible Condiments, Soluble, Insoluble, and Indigestible Fats and Glutinous Derivatives, Washington, D.C.:

Correction of the Correction of Directive 943456201, issued yesterday afternoon, February 1, 2009, which noted said Directive should read “ground hogmeat” instead of “groundhog meat.” Note that “ground hogmeat” should now read “chopped hogmeat.”

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At this time, as a public service, we are glad to post the following superseding additional supplementary bulletin from the Office of Fluctuation Control, Bureau of Edible Condiments, Soluble, Insoluble, and Indigestible Fats and Glutinous Derivatives, Washington, D.C.:

Correction of the Correction of the Correction of Directive 943456201, issued earlier, February 2, 2009. First correction: that number is now 943456202. The second correction: please note that said Directive reading “chopped hogmeat” formerly reading “ground hogmeat” formerly reading “groundhog meat” should now read “sausage.”