Education: yer doing it wrong

Like all classes here, my introductory bio class has a website and a chatroom. The chatroom is a pretty useful tool--the students use it to exchange information and ask each other questions, and I pop in every so often and answer questions too. Sometimes, though, it lets me see just how dopey students can be; here's a (summarized) example of what I found on the chatroom this morning:

(name withheld): how many quizzes can we miss?
(name withheld, again): did anyone actually read the entire 17 page assignment for today? [note--they've had about a week] I was up all night playing Portal 2 [note--a just-released video game], could somebody give me a summary before 3:00 PM today?
(name withheld, digging in deeper): By the way, there's a meeting of the StarCraft [another video game] Club tomorrow night, everybody come!