Friday Flora can't wait to leave the nest edition

We have a teasel problem.  They are an invasive weed without even the redeeming qualities of blackberries.  They are kind of pretty, though.

But invasive.  The seeds often sprout before they've left the seed head. They remind me of aphids, born pregnant. 

Tuesday Tool Keepin' it cool edition

The Tuesday Tool is...

the 35-liter Dewar flask of liquid nitrogen, full of freshly-collected and processed goat semen.  The Monday Tool would be unmentionable on a family blog.

Wednesday Wordage Just Say It, Dammit, Edition--a rant you don't have to read but that I have to rant.

Begin rant:

A long time ago, I was on a bike tour that passed through some lovely scenery in Washington, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, and South Dakota.  I was not supposed to be naive--I had a college education from a prestigious institution under my belt--but, I was.  Maybe it was because I missed some classes in High School, or because I slept through something, or maybe because it just wasn't taught.  Whatever the reason, I was almost completely unaware of the history of the relationship between my country and the First Nations who originally lived in the area.   Every day we passed historical markers and parks and battlefields, I got a good eye-opening about just how rotten one's government can be, and how enthusiastically a democratic majority can support that rottenness.  And, of course, if you pay attention, you can hear that lesson again and again and again.

So I found myself listening to the radio today as I drove to the vet.  I had tuned in while the show was in progress, and heard somebody vigorously defending the use of "EITs".  I eventually figured out that an EIT was an "Enhanced Interrogation Technique."  As I listened on, it became very, very clear that EIT was torture, given legal blessing by compliant lawyers and paranoid, fearful agents.  It was clear that the things being legally purified were, when practiced by Khmer Rouge or North Vietnamese or Maoist or Imperial Japanese or Nazi or Stalinist agents, torture.  It was clear, as I was driving to the vet, that if I did the things blandly described as EITs to the goats in the back of my truck, I would be arrested and prosecuted.  It made me kind of sick, and gave me a bit more of that feeling I had while reading yet another sign describing United States soldiers killing native women and children in some beautiful valley in Montana.

And now, I am sicker.  Apparently, over 50% of people who identify with one of our major political parties reckon that EITs are a genuinely good thing.  Not tolerable, but right and just. 

Carlin and Orwell, a couple of Georges who were keen observers of the abuse of language, talked about how you can hide the most awful things behind bland, meaningless words.  Torture becomes Enhanced Interrogation becomes EIT, and heck, EIT's don't sound so bad.  Torture doesn't magically become something else when the same thing is done by the CIA rather than Pol Pot, no matter how scared you are, no matter how many lawyers bless it, and no matter what name you disguise it with.

I want never to hear the terms "EIT" or Enhanced Interrogation used by any news organization to describe the torture that agents of my country performed.  It was torture.  Just say it, dammit.  And if you're one of those people who thinks that EITs are tolerable, just own the fact that you endorse torture. 

Oh, and what I was saying earlier about epithets and chyrons...there are a lot of people who, whenever they make any public pronouncement about anything, should have a label saying "...supports torturing people..."

End of Rant. 

Monday Musical Note--Opera and the Bechdel Test, updated

A while ago, I wondered about operas that would pass the Bechdel Test.  I found another yesterday--Richard Strauss' Ariadne auf Naxos.  In a brief section of the "Opera" portion of the opera, Naiad, Dryad, and Echo sing to each other about how miserable Ariadne is.  No male (human or god) is mentioned.  And it's really quite pretty, too. 

Wednesday Wordage--the spirit of Bob and Ray lives...

...and is working the cash register at the Co-op.  I bought a sack of kibble for Eleanor the Akbash there.  It was a different brand than her usual, because it was on sale (a hundred pound dog that can run the hundred meters in 7 seconds can put away a fifty pound bag of kibble in no time).  So, I got home, and as I was filing the receipt in the "co-op receipts" folder, this item caught my eye:

"Prairie Dog Food 50#"

We have lots of animals, but no prairie dogs.  I finally figured that the Eleanor's food was sold as  "High Prairie Bison Blend" or some such. 

Anyway, it's ground already trod upon by the two and only Bob and Ray.  I can't find the audio, but here's the text; imagine these announcements, in the blandest possible voice, interrupting the radio show.

At this time, as a public service, we are glad to post the following bulletin from the Office of Fluctuation Control, Bureau of Edible Condiments, Soluble, Insoluble, and Indigestible Fats and Glutinous Derivatives, Washington, D.C.:

Directive 943456201: As of February 1, 2009, the price of groundhog meat will be fixed at a level higher than the price of groundhog meat on October 15, 2008, with the exception of the low-level water route outlined in the Bureau’s directive 20066 of finding the Kansas City stockyards. Note: slightly higher west of the Rockies.

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At this time, as a public service, we are glad to post the following supplementary bulletin from the Office of Fluctuation Control, Bureau of Edible Condiments, Soluble, Insoluble, and Indigestible Fats and Glutinous Derivatives, Washington, D.C.:

Correction of Directive 943456201, issued earlier today, February 1, 2009, concerning the fixed price of groundhog meat. In the Directive above-named, the price-fixed low-water-level quotation on groundhog meat should read “ground hogmeat.”

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At this time, as a public service, we are glad to post the following additional supplementary bulletin from the Office of Fluctuation Control, Bureau of Edible Condiments, Soluble, Insoluble, and Indigestible Fats and Glutinous Derivatives, Washington, D.C.:

Correction of the Correction of Directive 943456201, issued yesterday afternoon, February 1, 2009, which noted said Directive should read “ground hogmeat” instead of “groundhog meat.” Note that “ground hogmeat” should now read “chopped hogmeat.”

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At this time, as a public service, we are glad to post the following superseding additional supplementary bulletin from the Office of Fluctuation Control, Bureau of Edible Condiments, Soluble, Insoluble, and Indigestible Fats and Glutinous Derivatives, Washington, D.C.:

Correction of the Correction of the Correction of Directive 943456201, issued earlier, February 2, 2009. First correction: that number is now 943456202. The second correction: please note that said Directive reading “chopped hogmeat” formerly reading “ground hogmeat” formerly reading “groundhog meat” should now read “sausage.”